Title: 24 (A Day in the Life of a War-hero Werewolf)
Rating: NC-17, chapter PG-13
Pairing: Snape/Lupin (This chapter: brief Tonks/Kingsley, Bill/Fleur, Remus watching)
Kink(s): Voyeurism, if you squint hard.
Challenge: The Lusty Month of May Marathon 2007
Word count, total: 45,000
Word count, chapter: ~800
Notes: This was originally written under the disguise of my personal journal. Kind readers were nice enough to vote this a winner of the Lusty Month of May Challenge 2007 at pervy_werewolf. Please observe the chapter warnings. This story is, due to the nature of the challenge, rather varied in kinks.
Summary: A story in which Severus Snape learns not to speak or make bets when drunk, Remus Lupin is taught one or two practical things he didn't know before and the rest of the Order is educated in how it is a very imprudent idea to think that they, even united, can beat Severus Snape on a turf on which he has had the opportunity to practise.
Chapters: Chapter Index



Chapter 1
- in which Remus Lupin makes an unexpected offer.

'I'll do it,' Remus Lupin said, as he moved a bit restlessly in his chair. Full moon had just come and gone, and he was still tired and sore and stretched. Also the wolf still felt awake, and the fact that Bill Weasley was snogging Fleur in front of him didn't make it any calmer. Bill and Fleur kindly left enough room between them for Remus to watch his former fiancée cling to Kingsley Shacklebolt, probably in an almost doomed attempt not to die from asphyxiation due to the tongue shoved down her throat. Remus felt slightly dizzy, not just because of the groping but also because he had had a bit too much to drink. They all had.

His quiet words, however, had the desired effect.

'You'll what?' Fred and George (who weren't kissing anybody, thank Merlin!) almost cried. 'Have you gone insane?'

'I'll do it,' Remus repeated calmly, feeling the attention of almost fifteen members of the Order directed at him. 'I doubt it categorises me as insane. I do not hope anybody has a problem with that?'

'I have,' a cold voice replied from the farthest and darkest corner. 'As usual, none of you have any idea what you are talking about, and you offer me a monster to help me prove myself?' There was a poignant pause. 'I have my pride,' the voice said in an offended tone, 'and I sincerely doubt Lupin can be of any assistance to me. Only, if I am to watch one more ecstatic teen do things in this room which clearly should have been kept inside a bedroom's confines, I'll without question be ready to wear a shirt with very long arms and challenging buttons when I relax in my padded one-bedroom flat. To get away from that, even if it is with the mon- with Lupin, will almost make it worth it. Almost.'

'Oi!' Tonks shouted, as she finally managed to spit Kingsley out. 'You started this, Severus!'

Kingsley, however, didn't seem to want to stop kissing Tonks and was licking and kissing her neck as if no one else was in the room. Remus looked at them with a bit of envy. He remembered how it had felt to lick that neck, the softness of her skin... only it would never have worked between them no matter how delicious she had been. Somehow Severus had a point. Remus really didn't need to see what Kingsley did with his former girlfriend. Also Kingsley's hand half way down Tonks' jeans was a bit less than appropriate. Remus watched it move there, rubbing against spots he had known intimately once, a little more interested than he should have been. Severus definitely had a point!

'I did not.' Snape rose, towering over them with a dark look in his eyes. He was swaying slightly, as if he had had a bit much to drink too. He glared angrily at them. 'Flaunting things which should have been kept private is not something I indulge in. Obviously not a sentiment shared my my fellow Order members.'

Kingsley looked guilty and removed his hand from Tonks' trousers.

Snape stared at Remus, it was a decidedly unpleasant gaze, penetrating and hard. 'Tell me, Lupin. Why? Is it the Galleons? You most certainly look as if you could use some, you are intolerably ragged. No hope of getting a replacement robe at Oxfam, I take it? Entirely out of your league?'

Remus' kind smile vanished immediately and he cringed at the venom thrown at him. 'Severus, really?'

The two former D.A.D.A.-teachers stared at each other; one cold and unyielding, the other sighing deeply, then looking away. It was not worth fighting over. Remus knew how Severus was, all thorns and sharp edges. Of course Severus would rather avoid the bet than depending on Remus to win it with him. Remus didn't even know-

Remus' line of thought was disturbed by Ginny, Justin, and Hannah Abbot returning from the dance floor.

In the background the music had died down, more couples joined them in the deep sofas and chairs in Grimmauld Place's large living room. 'So,' Potter asked as he threw himself on the old, rather dusty sofa, grinning broadly, 'anyone volunteered to shag the greasy old git yet?'

Part 2